I was lingering outside, admiring our magnificent new sign from every possible angle, when a distressed voice echoed from inside the shop.
I rushed back in. Standing there, adjusting her sunglasses as if surveying a fresh crime scene, was the same middle-aged woman who had complained yesterday. When did she even get in?
"My, my, my! Look at this! Surprisingly sturdy, aren't we?"
It seemed the grand sign hadn't intimidated her in the least.
"Um... Good morning, ma'am."
"Good morning to you. I see you’ve got your sign up, and your permit is properly displayed. Impressive, impressive. ...However, it seems you’re tragically lacking in the actual food department."
She gestured toward our display shelves. They were almost bare; the local contractors had cleaned us out of side dishes during their early morning shift.
"W-We’re about to start cooking the next batch..." I stammered.
"Oh, no you don't! You need planning, young man! The logging crews heading up the mountain, the travelers crossing over to the next village... they need to buy their food now. If you start cooking now, you've already lost them."
Luldona stepped forward, her metallic eyes narrowing. "You don't know that. We haven't even tried yet."
"Is that so? Well, look there. Your customers are already on their way up the hill."
We followed her gaze. A tour group of elderly hikers, looking eager for light snacks, was winding its way toward us. Behind them, I could see the serious faces of another mountain work crew. They were definitely here for sustenance.
My knees buckled. I sank to the floor. "It’s over... We’re doomed. This shop will go down in history as the world’s worst convenience store—the one that started the morning with zero inventory!"
Negativity Mode: Activated.
"Chief! Come baaaaack!" Scorie’s voice floated in, sounding far too amused. (She clearly didn't understand the catastrophic gravitational weight of an empty food aisle in a morning rush, the little brat!)
"Get a hold of yourself!" Luldona barked, pulling me up. "And for the last time, this isn't a convenience store! It’s a general store!"
Shaking off the despair, I staggered toward the back. "Okay... Okay. Empty shelves... empty shelves. For now, I'll fill the void... by lining up the small Haniwa."
"Absolutely not," Luldona snapped.
"Yeah, bad move, Boss," Scorie added instantly. (They only seemed to synchronize when shutting down my genius ideas.)
"They aren't just figures! They’re Haniwa-shaped cups and containers! Maybe people just want a stylish vessel for their own food?"
"Maybe... but probably not," Luldona retorted.
"Regardless, I'll go explain that we’re almost sold out."
"Oh-ho-ho! It seems you are truly in a pickle," the middle-aged woman chuckled. "Perhaps I could be persuaded to lend a hand."
With that, she reached into her large bag and produced... a massive mountain of dumplings.
"Eh?"
***
"Thank you very much! Have a safe trip!"
We managed it. Every morning customer left with food in their hands. The dumplings were perfect, covering all the bases: red bean paste, sesame, savory sweet soy glaze, and even mugwort dumplings. She knew exactly what the elderly hikers wanted.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
"I can't believe it... You're a wholesaler?"
The mysterious 'Karen' from yesterday wasn't a complainer; she was a supplier. And yes, she produced a valid Health and Safety Permit. I looked down at the business card she had given me. It read: Wedgwood & Seto Wholesale.
"Specifically, a middle-market broker, but close enough. Oh-ho-ho-ho!"
"So... you weren't trying to shut us down yesterday?"
"Goodness me! How rude!"
"No, no, I mean... You’ve saved us. Truly. Please, take this as a token of my gratitude." I offered her my prized Haniwa figure, but she just stared at it with a profoundly polite, unreadable expression.
"Anyway," she continued, gracefully ignoring the ceramic figure. "Would you be interested in stocking these dumplings regularly? I can deliver, say, a hundred every morning."
"Why... why are you doing this for us?"
"We Reincarnated Ones have to stick together, don't we? Though, in my case, I simply married a lovely Prince and live a blessedly peaceful life making dumplings."
"Huh?" My brain stalled. "A... Prince?"
"Yes, I reincarnated about thirty years ago. I was actually the Villainess! But after a whole tangled web of drama, I ran away with the Prince. We started a charming little tea house known for its wonderful dumplings. But at my age... well, standing and serving customers all day gets tiring. So now, I do the wholesale side."
(A Villainess... Please, spare me. My 'Genre Compatibility' is already at its limit!)
Luldona stood beside me, her mouth slightly ajar, arms hanging limp. Even her powerful processors seemed unable to parse this sudden influx of tropey backstory. [Error: Backstory_Overflow. System_Overwhelmed.]
"You ran away with a Prince...! Oh my god, I might actually have to 'Stalk' you...!" Scorie’s voice slipped out, filled with genuine fannish glee. It was a mistake.
Mrs. Wedgwood-Seto’s expression flipped instantly from polite to primal fury.
"YOU! Keep your eyes off my Prince, or you will regret the day you were born!"
Scorie froze. She literally solidified. Clink.
"Ah, yes... the Stone Pixie trait," Luldona muttered, tapping the now completely petrified Scorie. "Instant petrification upon receiving a system shock. Reasonable, given the input."
"Well... right. Okay. Regarding the dumplings, let's start tomorrow. But I’m not sure we can move a hundred. Let's start with... sixty."
"Oh-ho-ho! Very well. We have a deal. I look forward to a profitable relationship."
***
An hour had passed since the Great Villainess Dumpling Dame departed.
Luldona had gone into Power-Saving Mode (sleeping) in the back, and Scorie, having dissolved her petrification, had head out to distribute flyers and restock the Brick Bread.
I stood outside alone, staring up at our sign.
LUNA CRAFTY CO.
Seeing the name up there, loud and proud, felt... itchy. Comfortable, but itchy.
But the anxiety was also creeping in. Putting up the sign was like making a declaration to this world: I am here, and I am open for business! The reality of it made me more nervous than usual. Everything felt a little more fragile.
"Right... Time to 'Knead'."
When the anxiety hits, the only cure is the clay.
I decided to venture a little deeper into the forest today, searching for a different quality of clay—something with a finer grit, perhaps. I grabbed my largest burlap sack and a sturdy shovel and headed toward the dark line of trees.
It was, in hindsight, a critical error in judgment.
***
I was deep in the woods behind the shop, silently, methodically digging into a vein of promising gray clay, when the sound of the explosion tore through the air.
It came from the direction of the shop. It sounded like a massive firework had detonated right on top of my head.
"What was that?!"
I dropped the shovel and sprinted back. The smell of acrid smoke reached me first. When I burst through the tree line, my heart stopped.
Part of the roof was caved in. And our grand, new, beautiful sign... was gone. In its place was a rain of wooden splinters.
"What...? What is this?"
(What happened? Was it a magic attack? A monster? A freak natural phenomenon?) A torrent of questions flooded my mind. I scanned the perimeter, but there was nothing there. No enemies. No tracks. Just smoke.
Then, the true terror hit me.
Luldona was inside!
"LULDONA!"
Ignoring the groan of the collapsing timbers, I charged into the burning building. "Luldona! Where are you!?"
She wasn't on the sofa where I’d left her. I searched the workshop, the back room... anywhere. [Scanning...] No response. She was gone.
And then, from outside, came the single worst sound imaginable: a high-pitched, insufferable whimper.
"Excuse meeeeeee! Is the Maaaaaanager in? Aaaaaah?"
(Oh god. Even if they aren't a Karen, anyone who ends their sentences with that whiny, rising tone is guaranteed to be a nightmare.)
My sign was gone, my AI partner was missing, and the ultimate customer from hell had just arrived at my doorstep.