What happened with me in the trial keeps surfacing. Every time the st bit comes up, I can just feel a part of me breaking in the tiniest bit. All my failures combined put a boulder over my chest, and I just want to take a break for once. I have literally been wasting my time dealing with a way to figure that circle out, and after everything I’ve done, all the fucking shit I had to go through, this ends up happening. As per usual…

  I’m just done with trying at this point, the fuck is the point anymore if everything just wants to go against me. There’s no reason for me to live in pain if I already know it’s all going to be useless in the end.

  I got to such a point that I considered just ending it all, but shoot me in the foot I guess. Anti-climactically, I met her sometime after, so suddenly everything just seemed more bearable with her there.

  “And now I don’t have anything.” I mumble.

  It was just going… perfect.

  But this god forsaken universe just had to fuck over didn’t it.

  If I don’t have anything to go for, might as well live to find out what happened to my parents, being my original goal; Now that I think about, the idea in itself seems dumb; But also… for,

  “Lyanna?”

  The child zoning out and nearly falling off the cart, wakes up.

  “Yes?”

  At least she looks better now. Sure, she might have childhood trauma now, but who the fuck cares because we’re in the same boat here. She still barely smiles, but at least it’s genuine to a point. Wait what the fuck did I just say-

  “Tell me, did you see your parents in there?”

  Her body tenses again.

  “I..”

  I take my hands off the controls and nd them right onto her shoulder, interrupting what she was saying.

  “Please, just tell me. We’ve both seen something simir, and trust me, we both need a f-king break”

  Lyanna’s face goes bnk as the cart rolls to a stop.

  “But-”

  “Oh for god’s sake, just tell me. I won’t even judge.”

  Lyanna turns towards me as I bite on my lips, deciding whether to tell her or not to tell her.

  “Wanna hear something. Someone I loved, died because of a dumb miscalcution I made, right in front of my eyes. She died, because of me. It slowly kills me inside knowing that it was my fault, knowing that she fucking suffered in those st seconds because of me.”

  The guilt comes flooding in again, I can feel my whole world twisting again, but this time I keep myself steady.

  “Do you have any idea why I kept myself alive even after knowing that?!”

  Why am I even telling her this? Sure, there was a lie in there, but I have to make sure she tells me, otherwise I’d bore myself to death.

  “I don’t want to leave you alone in this hell for fucks sake. It took the life out of me leaving you when we first met!”

  Life needs a little more… entertainment in it.

  Tears start running down my face,

  “I CARE, that’s why I ask!”

  Tears building up blurs my vision, but I finally got out what I wanted to say even though it comes out forced with ‘other’ intentions. My soul wants to undo everything I said, but I had to, or that’s how I’ll convince myself.

  Lyanna’s emotions show, and she wraps around me as my stomach muffles her cry.

  I didn’t mean to make her cry, but I really want to know. My head ticks again and I feel like I just had a revetion. My body… went on autopilot. It felt like I lost consciousness for a few seconds, I remember everything that happened, but I suddenly don’t remember my need behind it.

  There’s something wrong at my core, as the sense of wonder took me over. I really didn’t mean to take it this far. What the hell is happening with me right now. Why am I frustrated?

  The sounds around me choke out and I feel dissociated all of a sudden. I’m in a state of hyper-awareness but everything around me is blocked out. I-I’m going to pass out again, aren’t I.

  Sensation dissipates in my legs and I can barely feel them as if I was standing on zero gravity. My ears ring again and I feel like my body is spinning.

  “I feel-l tired..”

  I lose all sensation and my body flops over Lyanna.

  “Arius!?”

  ///----------------------------

  What’s going on?! Why is he not waking up!? Lyanna tries waking him up repeatedly but he’s unresponsive. Come on wake up! The memories of what happened on the st day Lyanna was with her parents fshes in front of her again.

  Please, not now. Lyanna wants to get rid of the memories, but her mind keeps holding on to them. Her thoughts get overwhelmed and Lyanna’s world starts slowing down. Why am I the only one left alive.

  Everything bends in-on-itself and her visions goes dark as hallucinations dissolve in. The demonic creatures from that day waltz around Lyanna as she’s left helpless in the center, hollow and still, absolutely horror inducing.

  Her ears ring static and her body locks up again. She’s stuck, again, trapped. Exits are out of reach, and the only thing left is an inescapable void.

  Trauma is something many suffer from. When triggered, it becomes their own kind of hell. But for her, for a child, it’s taken to the extreme. Vivid hallucinations and psychic dissociation set it, and now she’s imprisoned in a state of fear, terror, and paranoia.

  Someone… Help.

  For a brief second, Aarius’s sub-consciousnesses, soul-linked with Lyanna and a connection simir to telepathy forms around the link. Deep down, under the astral, threads vine, mimicking runners around the connection and the silk like thread connects with Lyanna’s soul core. The thread tightens as if it grabs onto something, and Aarius’s body jolts up as he finally gains his awareness back.

  “I heard that you know”

  His arms cover Lyanna in an almost comforting tone, and the hallucinations freeze as Lyanna comes to her senses again.

  “I told you, I’ll Never leave you”

  Tears try to force out, but Lyanna’s will hold them back.

  A gentle smile resolves on Aarius and in a soft tone,

  “Hehe, There you go”

  -----------------///

  Found you.

  My astral form phases into her soul core, and within a split second, I break the inverted star inside of her core.

  I felt something was off with her, but I didn’t expect to find one of these.

  I managed to collect a small sample of it just before breaking it, and I must admit, I had some fun while doing it.

  Her reaction is simply too precious not to enjoy.