"... Gym..."

  I uttered those words as I saw the clock ticked over to 8:00. I would be going out to the school's outdoor field for our gym css with everyone here, then--. Afterwards, we would go to the pool after lunch for our swim css...

  I was fine with gym, especially since I packed my tracksuit, but the pool... oh, the pool--should--. No, I need to make an excuse again, no matter the shame? Something like, 'I forgot how to put this [my swimsuit] on, could you plese help me' with...

  No--impossible! I can't do that! No way, no way! I was fine changing with women and girls, but that? Just who even could I beg to such, and how do I word it?

  "Are you okay Teseia?" Eh--? I wasn't spacing out weirdly, right?

  "I'm fine--thank you for looking out for me Felis." Something like that; no way...

  ... but--. I turned back to look at Felis... If it's her, she won't ugh, right?

  Well, I had the time we had in homeroom to prepare myself mentally and gym.

  I appeared to not be the only one who wore track shorts and a track shirt. Many girls alongside me choose to be in this - what I would say more constrictive clothing - for merely the reason to hide themselves, myself included.

  "Everyone, find your partners and form lines!" The masculine gym instructor ordered, as everyone formed lines. Our css was mixed gender, and... Looking at the some of the guys who desperately tried to partner up with girls was amusing...

  As for me, "Felis!" I called out and clung to her. "Could you be my partner please!" I begged; just to avoid the possibility of partnering with a guy as a girl.

  "Oh--sure." Her natural sense of accepting things really came in handy here. Felis at the very least looked like an older sister when we are side by side, so her presence saved me a lot of worries.

  ... well--in another sense it did allow me a chance to be with her before our swim css... I needed to find a time to talk to her before css started, so I could beg her to help me--if it's her, she won't tease me right?

  That aside, Felis and I lined up together as partners for whatever we were going to do next... Most of the girls avoided the fate of partnering with guys, though the ones that didn't were probably the few that were fine with a guy... probably; and not that I could tell. I never understood the need to partner with a girl, as a guy, though I understood why some girls would avoid partnering with us... yet here as a girl, I felt like I fully understood the need to partner with a girl as one... Funny how a change in gender causes such a rge difference in thought process.

  Felis leaned a little next to my ear, "Why don't you come eat with me ter, during lunch." I suppose it is only lunch; and I'm not busy with trying to track down Kaeu or Leicia, so it should be fine. "I also want to make sure and walk about school--I'm worried about you sense you came in ter in the school year." School--she gives off css president vibes. Though it does feel nice to have someone like her worry about me.

  "Yes, I'll be in your care." I didn't take it to mind to much, besides--it should just be a normal lunch between girls, right?

  "Everyone, start your warmups! We will be starting our track run test today!" Running; what used to be my favorite activity. Though I haven't done any running as a girl - for that matter, I haven't done any physical activity other than walking.

  "Alright, let's do this!" Eh--? Why is Felis so energetic?

  "Yes...?" I uttered... Was I getting myself into something I shouldn't have?

  I ignored that thought and focused on our instructor now that people were finished grouping up and lining up in front of him. "Alright everyone, warmups everyone!" Our instructor yelled across the field.

  We started our stretches together, and I quickly found out that I was very flexible in this body; so much so that I found it scary how my body could bend to such lengths. I also found out when we kept going for warmups and I had to do more physically intense activities,

  "Kyu--!" I had no strength... Well, I was obvious petite, but still, I couldn't even do 10 sit ups or 4 solid push up. I resorted to the easy pushups with my knees on the ground--which allowed me to do 7 before giving up...

  "Are you okay?" Yet next to me was a monster, who asked out to me whilst doing her pushups--. Did I secretly team up with an athletic junkie? I thought she was mature, intelligent student, but I never predicted her physical fitness to be this good.

  Well--I sure hope whatever we are doing it isn't extremely physical together, or I end up being dragged by her...

  After around 3 more minutes of basic warmup exercises, everyone started gathering around our gym instructor. We couldn't hear the instructor from where we were, so we ran to hear what was being announced. "... in pairs for the remaining css. If you have any compints, you can tell me now!" I swore that the gym instructor I had was not like this a year ago. All I knew was that the gym instructor and swim instructor swapped csses each day, and that the gym instructor I had was a woman named Katlia.

  "2-kilometer run..." Another student uttered in front of us. 2-kilometer run... Wait--did they just say 2?

  I--err, I hope I can keep up with the css. Regardless--I need to make a good run for myself here.

  "Haah~." Just how much can she run? I kept my challenge to try to keep up with Felis before giving up quickly and just running to my own pace until I completed the however many ps required.

  I was spent... I never knew being out of breath so terribly could hurt my chest so much. I fell to the ground with rapid breaths--. This should be normal after 2 kilometers I told myself.

  I lifted my head to see someone running towards me; Felis. "Are you okay?" I could only shake my head in response to Felis, as even breathing hurts. "Sorry--stick with me. I know it was terrible, but you'll be seen in good light for your endurance." Felis expined to me...

  I wasn't unfit in this body; it was probably more right to call Felis extremely athletic and me to run with her was a nightmare. I should have aimed to keep up with someone slower...

  ... I need to prepare myself next time; gym won't be so easy like I thought. Not to mention I don't even know if there were more physical tests... Though as I thought about it, I need to prepare for swim css next. Though, once I'm done with swim css I was done early and could go home--well, eat lunch with Felis first then go.

  "Are you sure you're okay?" Did--was there really something about me that made her concerned?

  "I'm fine..." I didn't think there was anything off about me? I mean--my legs felt a little light and unsteady, but shouldn't it after running?

  "Well--then let's get changed for our swimming css." Felis led me carefully to the changing room alongside all the other girls. As we entered the changing room with the other girls who were in various states of undress, I started to undress as well--.

  Why was Felis staring at me so intensely? "Let me help you." Wait, what did she say--!

  "Yaah--! Stop!" I desperately pleaded before having my arm grabbed by Felis.

  I--well having her put on my swimsuit doesn't sound so embarrassing now... I had my track shorts and shirt taken off and repced with the uniform by Felis. Though Felis didn't put on my knee-high socks or button my bzer fully. Having her help, me took a lot of time... err--this... is certainly something I wish I could forget...

  After Felis folded my gym clothes and put it in my bag, she wiped my forehead with a small towel before quickly changing into her uniform. She then took my bag alongside her's. "I'll carry your bag Teseia." Was--. I turned to look at myself in the mirror the locker room; I didn't think I looked that terrible for her to be so concerned, did I? "Come on now; let's go. Take this walk to catch your breath."

  I stood up from the locker benches and followed Felis. "Thank you." Walking still felt a little off - as I felt like my steps were heavy -, but I forced myself to go forward.

  I followed Felis as we walked out of outdoor-field locker room, through to the familiar first floor hallways. I wasn't sure which pool we used, so I kept my eyes glued to Felis to not lose her. We eventually reached the pool with the girls had the indoor pool... I looked around to see if there were any guys were in sight in this entire pool; and none... Huh--did they change this? Last I remember st year I was in a co-ed swim css, so--.

  Ah--err, who was this? Wait--Instructor Katlia? I took a deep breath--. I knew she would be strict with me, that was how she was before.

  I prepared myself as I saw her turn to face us... "Hello Felis, may I ask why you are--."

  "Sorry Instructor, I was helping our new student, Teseia Alicia find the pool. It is my duty to help other students as the First Year Representative." Err--I guess I could never be a good student like Felis. I may be an intelligent student, but the perfect student was now out of reach. First Year Representative, huh--also, does Felis have a death wish? Interrupting the instructor, not to mention Katlia, when they were speaking and asking a question?

  "I understand--then you two are excused for being te today. Get changed and come to the pool." Katlia said. Eh? She was pretty strict back then alongside most of the other gym teachers at the time, and probably now as well, but it seemed weird how understanding she was... If I, or even another good student said what Felis said, we would have mercilessly been marked as te by Katlia.

  "Let's go Teseia." Felis uttered... eh--err, I guess...

  Geezes, my mind is wandering too much. "Sorry--." I still need to pass this ordeal now. "Coming." I shouldn't rely too much on past knowledge, as it already is proving itself wrong now and some other times before.

  We entered the pool locker room to change--er... it was now or never for me to ask. I would either stand her starring at her weirdly or ask now... The ordeal to ask Felis to change me into my--er... swimsuit. I had my excuses from when I came, so it should be valid, right?

  "Could... you--." I mean--this is straight up embarrassing! I--haah~ I'll do it. "Help me with my swimsuit!" Away with a cute-beg I pnned earlier; I desperately beg whilst hiding my embarrassment.

  ... eh...? Why was Felis looking at me?

  Eh--! She suddenly felt my leg--? "Are you okay?" Ah--err... I guess I should pass it on like that... "Sorry--I forgot you were recently released from the hospital!" Eh--I suppose I could go with that... "I'm so sorry; I should have expined to the gym instructor before! I'll expin everything to the instructor now, so don't worry." Eh--wait, what?

  She--ah... Felis was gone...

  Needless to say, I was allowed to skip out on our swimming css. I fixed my uniform by fixing my socks and bzer before taking the time to watch css. I've done this css before; for a semester they teach you how to swim. That was it, and I--well, before I couldn't swim well in the end...

  This was the only css I feared in both my lives...

  Swim css ended as everyone flooded to shower in the pool locker rooms and change. Over the hour and 30 minutes this css took pce, my leg started to become sore... considering this, it was probably a good thing I didn't swim as my leg would have definitely given up whilst in css. Was this what Felis noticed?

  I looked towards the pool to see Katlia getting out towards the steps towards my chair. "Hey--you're Teseia, right?" Ah--err... regardless, she is still menacing...

  "Err--ano... yes..." She won't reprimand me, right? "Sor--sorry for skipping your css..." Apologize and hope - perhaps - Katlia gives me forgiveness; that was the only thing I could rely on back then!

  "No, it's fine." Eh--why the less-then negative response? "You aren't the only one; each day there is usually a girl who skips out with a valid reason." Wait--what? I mean--ah, that make sense... In our co-ed swim css, I found it odd when a girl sat out for css, or when the girls all gathered for something near the steps. "Don't worry; today no one happened to sit out, though if there are any problems, be it a bad day or anything, please tell me before you enter the pool."

  "Ah... okay." So I was just the only one who skipped out. "Thank you." Though--bad day... It couldn't be referring to--that, right?

  "Well--regardless Teseia, I am looking forward to seeing you next css." Eh--what...? Katlia turned to walk to the changing rooms after speaking to me... eh?

  Did I mistake something? The Instructor Katlia I knew was not like this; the one I knew was akin to a military drill instructor. Yet here, it seemed like she was a normal serious, yet caring instructor to me, as a girl.

  Well--no point thinking... Katlia is this now and thinking over won't change it. I swung my legs back and forth in the pool bench as I waited for Felis. After a while of waiting and nothing, I stood and walked back and forth in front of the bench I sat on... my legs still had a small aching pain, but the pain wasn't debilitating. Soon the chatter of girls filled the pool room as they finished showering and changing.

  I waited for Felis to come out...

  ... I sat back down and leaned back onto the wall and rested my head... I should have time, right? "Apologizes, I'm back." Ah--seriously?

  Why is it always that when you decide to do something whilst waiting that whatever you're waiting for is done? Well--sigh... I rubbed my eyes, "Hello, welcome back." I greeted her.

  "Are your legs okay Teseia?" Huh? This again?

  I nodded my head before standing up. I moved and kicked my legs back and forth, "I should be fine." I didn't feel much besides the small bit of pain; which considering the fact I ran 2 kilometers, was fine. "Let's go." I felt excited--this was the first time I would be able to have a casual conversation during lunch.

  Thinking about it, the st two days I spent lunch with people I knew - Kaeu and Leicia. So I was probably seen as an outcast or loner. I was also excited to initiate a conversation as a girl to a girl, rather than the stale-stiff legal talk I had to endure st week trying to make myself both a legal adult and guardian of Cecelia.

  "Are you sure you're okay?" What--why is Felis so insistent on asking about me--, "Your legs are shaking still..." Ah--still? They don't seem that bad, do they? "I don't want to see something bad happen to you, so please head home... We can eat another day Teseia; your wellness is more important than anything else."

  "Unn--okay." That's... "I... suppose." I couldn't argue with her logic inside, no matter how much I wanted to eat or converse with her.

  I really was excited to at least converse with an actual person who I didn't need to be wary of. The only people I could realistically talk to was Kaeu and Leicia, though I had to be wary not to spill out something that could reveal who I was. I couldn't even speak to Cecelia, aside from our one-sided exchanges which originate mostly from me. Aside from that, Alicia was a complete loner with no friends to speak of...

  "Then--have a nice day Felis." I waved goodbye to Felis and left.

  "Kuk--!" That... I should not have done that run earlier today at that pace. Regardless of how embarrassing it was afterwards, and how I sat out of the swim css, I now understood the concern Felis expressed. "Who can I even contact?" I sat at a bench outside the train station at Arcastea, and--no, I don't even have my past contacts I could contact. I took my phone out and looked at what contacts Alicia had--er, my parent's number - who were dead -, Cecelia - no way she would respond to me -, and... Wait--seeing her contact list, it really does seem like Alicia seems like a loner! The only other people I saw in her contact list was Kahad Ignation, and Fuliser Halcation. I wasn't a popur person before as a guy, but I was definitely not a loner. Yet here I knew clearly that I was not a normal girl; a girl would most likely have a friend or two they could rely on, right?

  Walking with my school bag filled with my gym uniform and swimsuit felt really exhausting. Getting to the train was painful, but I managed to get a seat. Just when I thought I could make it home and y down, the pain jolted back and I slowly walked to a bench.

  ... if I sit here long enough, my leg should stop hurting, right? I should be able to get back home by the evening... Well--if so, I should contact Cecelia at least. I typed in my response, "'Cecelia please get some easy to eat dinner, I will not be able to make dinner tonight.' That should be good." I read my text again before sending it forward.

  Now with that over... I guess I should enjoy the view...

  People came and went. Some stared at me before leaving, though most passed by without a care. I looked at my phone again in hopes of finding some hidden person I could call whilst hoping that someone would help me...

  As time went on, and as I gave up and just took the time to obersve the natural flow of people, I realized the park looks a lot prettier when I took note of it more in depth. The trees were spaced in a neat way that showcased their natural blooming flowers and leaves, the people walking by the paved walkways in the afternoon gave this pce a lively mood, and the sun in the sky gave beautiful shades and shadows during this time of the day.

  "Why did I not bring my sketch book?" I held deep regret for myself. This was an amazing drawing idea, I told myself as I kept a mental note to come back here to draw this scenery.

  ... ... ...

  "Teseia?" Eh--who! "Are you waiting for someone?" I forced myself off my deep focus to see--Kaeu?

  I--. "Why--." I scrabbled to get my phone, ah... it was 4:00. Of course--school was over. "Ano--I'm not waiting for anyone, sorry..." Why was he here? He usually goes home much ter rather than now.

  "Oh--then apologizes for interrupting your rexation. I'll be taking my--."

  "No!" I excimed--I had him now to rely on. "Please--... my leg--could you help me get back home?" I lifted my leg; the pain was lessened then before, but it still hurts standing.

  "..." Kaeu gave me a hard stiff gre--this was the wariness gre. "Okay, tell me where your house is."

  Waah~! "Thank you!" It--... was so wonderful, I could get back before this evening! "Thank you... Ignation" I felt like crying--I felt like saying his name, but I had to remember I was not who I was. I was not the person who was close to him, I was Teseia Alicia, a troublesome first year girl.

  Kaeu took my bag and took my hand--. I... felt conscious of it as I thought of myself as a girl--this didn't look strange, did it?

  "We'll walk outside of the park and to your house together." Eh? This totally sounded like what a couple would say...

  Wait... "How can you say such embarrassing things!"

  He walked forward in front of me. "Says you in this position." Haha, his sharp remarks remind me that he is still--wait! I shouldn't get too comfortable... "Anyways, where is your house?"

  "Ano--that way." I pointed to the paved walkway forward of me. It was a little far for my current condition, but a normal 10 minute walk normally. I walked slowly besides him as we stood with some space between our shoulders.

  "Alright then, go go." This seems much better than the wary silent Kaeu I see in the club. He really is himself, with his sharp remarks and passive smiles.

  We walked silently together out the park and towards my house... Nothing eventful happened; he just walked with me as a uppercssman would do--.

  Oww--. "Kaa--!" Why now--!

  "Are you alright?" That--. Geezes, my legs gave up on me in an embarrassing moment...

  "Ye--yes..." I could only stare at him as he caught me during my fall. "Thank you--. Ignation..." I felt dazed again; dazed and tired as I walked.

  He looked at me--this is embarrassing this close... "No choice then--hold onto me and tell me which house it is." This--... I couldn't argue... I held onto his neck as he kneeled down and--I see why this is embarrassing.

  I tried my best to ignore the embarrassment I felt and looked forward to find my house as Kaeu carried me. If we get back, then this experience should end...

  We made it to my house in complete silence. Me speaking out as I told Kaeu the house I lived in was our only spoken line.

  "Th--thank you..." Looking back at him and remembering everything seems embarrassing.

  "Don't take it to mind too much." Sigh--looking at him made me realize how he broke the hearts of girls. "Hopefully you can come to school tomorrow; though do not push yourself." He gave me my bag and turned to leave...

  Sigh--I opened the door and slowly walked to my room. I had no business doing anything today other then ying and sitting down.

  "Maybe I should have Doctor Halcation check up on me, just in case..." I felt able to do this, yet my legs felt way too much pain. This wasn't normal by any stretch of the imagination. "I just hope the accident didn't do anything major to me."