1.41: Her Magnificent Pn“Alright, everyone! No point wasting any more time!” Ume fshed her fangs in a bright, predatory grin. “Come on! Once we reach the station, exit as quickly as possible. As for you, Tanuki… no one knows your face, so they won’t be looking for you. Just… fade out of the scene and don’t get spotted.”

  Akuchi puffed up proudly. “I have just enough power to vanish myself from sight. They will neither see nor touch me.” He paused, then continued in a tone that suggested he was about to propose something awful. “If we waited a few hours, I could hide EVERYONE here.”He reached into his kilt and produced a fresh set of leaves.

  I gagged instantly.

  “Akuchi— AAGH— don’t pull those out in front of me!”My skirt fluttered up as I doubled over.“E–Eh…?!”

  I finally processed what I was wearing.

  It wasn’t men’s gothic attire.Not some cool brooding vampire prince look.

  My costume wasn’t much different from Rui’s. A full-on goth dress.

  My entire brain blue-screened.

  “It’s a nice offer,” Ume said, giggling at my suffering, “but we don’t HAVE that kind of time. And I agree with Susumu… don’t put your rank little leaves anywhere near me.” She wrinkled her nose. “They have a distinctive scent that doesn’t agree with me.”

  “Hold up!” Rui snapped. “Is THAT where you store those things? Is that really NECESSARY? Or are you just deeply, cosmically sick in the head?” She seized my hand possessively.

  “Hey! Inside my pants is where the magic begins,” Akuchi replied in the fttest deadpan imaginable.

  I recoiled physically.Several vampires whistled.Ume ughed.

  “You’re banned, Akuchi!” Rui barked.

  “Everyone, MOVE!” Ume ordered sharply. “No more banter.” She cpped her hands together gently. “...we don’t have time!”

  Rui tugged me forward. I let her lead me, my heart hammering.Why was she holding my hand so tightly?Why did it feel so… personal?My face flushed hot.

  Akuchi drifted closer. His eyes drifted downward… toward our hands… and narrowed.

  Then he darted around and seized my OTHER hand.

  I stared at him like he’d grabbed a bomb.

  “A-Akuchi! Nooo— let go—!” I tried to wrench it free. He cmped down harder.

  Ume gnced back and cpped delightedly.

  “Such hot-blooded youth! I love it.”

  The vampires fnked us like a strangely adorable, weirdly moody parade.

  “The st train passed not long ago,” Ume continued, scanning the dark tunnel. “Another will come soon. That’s the real problem. If passengers see us, they’ll report it...And that only increases our trouble. And then they’ll be looking for a tall African boy and a horde of goths.”

  Rui’s eyes cut toward Akuchi again expressing pure malice. He noticed, flinched, but didn’t release my hand. His expression turned contemptive.

  “Here’s how I see things,” Rui said. “When the train comes, we must crouch down along the wall in our dark clothing and hair. Maybe even lie ft. The lights are still out. After all, the Noh-face broke them. It has given us the perfect hiding zone.”

  “That’s actually a decent pn, Rui-Rui!” Ume winked.

  The vampires redirected their stolen fshlights to spotlight whoever was speaking, like a theatre troupe following cues.

  “That’s our Pn A,” Ume said. “But the odds of success are questionable.”

  Rui nodded, then looked at Akuchi. “Then Pn B is another transformation. Akuchi, do you have enough juice for one more life-saving change?”

  He hesitated, squeezing my hand in a way that felt… obviously intimate.

  The fshlights swung toward him.

  “Very little, actually,” he admitted. “I can’t turn into a massive train again… but something smaller might be possible.”

  He looked around, thinking hard.Then his eyes nded on me, sparkling with renewed dramatic determination.

  “Very well! I shall do my BEST… just for you, Susumu.”

  He released my hand, flipped backward dramatically, and struck a fmboyant pose on the tracks in the darkness. The vampires’ fshlights followed him like trained stage spotlights.

  Then he began… Moonwalking. If he had a hat it would be perfect.

  “You IDIOT! Stop showboating! Just TRANSFORM!” Rui bellowed. Her voice ricocheted up and down the tunnel hard enough to scare pigeons in the next prefecture.

  Akuchi flinched mid-moonwalk and gred at her.

  “D-damn… stealing my spotlight…” he muttered, then cpped his hands together solemnly.

  He lowered himself horizontally like he was descending on invisible wires. His body fttened, widened, and stretched across the tracks until…

  CLUNK.

  He became…A tiny train cart.

  With wheels.

  And then…

  PING

  A headlight popped into existence, bathing us in a soft glow.

  The vampires immediately hopped aboard with supernatural grace.

  THUMPTHUMPBUMPCLATTER

  “Oh my! What a talented tanuki,” Ume cooed, patting the metal frame. The headlight turned very slightly pink. “All aboard!”

  Then she flipped in the air, her skirt floating up just long enough to bless or curse me with a view of her cute panties.

  My nose immediately bled.

  My heart smmed against my ribs like it wanted to defect.

  “GET MOVING, IDIOT!” Rui shrieked and then suddenly yeeted me forward.

  I nded on my back on top of Akuchi with a miserable oof.Rui scrambled up after me as Akuchi honked and began rolling down the tracks.

  He picked up speed, his honks turning dramatic and shrill.

  “Ohhh… such a WONDERFUL tanuki!” Ume swooned loudly.

  Akuchi honked again, this time wobbling dramatically from side to side. He didn’t say a word… likely because he was down to spiritual fumes.

  I sat up and gred at Rui. “Such an oni… Ughhh…! My back HURTS!”

  Akuchi honked mournfully, rocking as if sympathizing.

  “Now, now,” Rui said sweetly. “We had to get moving, didn’t we? What can I say? I’m a natural leader.”

  She shrugged like it was the ws of physics.

  “Umu… yes, you are,” Ume agreed, taking Rui’s hands. “Though maybe be gentler?”

  “You’re right,” Rui nodded. “Though I can’t make promises I can’t keep.”

  Ume ughed softly. Then we all ughed. Even Akuchi honked cheerfully.

  A growing light appeared ahead.

  Moments ter, we burst from the tunnels into the brilliantly lit station.

  The change was so sudden we were all temporarily blinded.

  Akuchi screeched to a stop.

  When our sight returned…

  Policemen ringed the tracks. Passengers stood behind them, buzzing with fear and curiosity.

  We stared up at them like we were all startled raccoons caught by spotlights.

  “Now, Akuchi!” Rui barked.

  Before I could react…

  K-KRRRRRRRRR-THOOM!!

  Akuchi’s body rattled violently and he unched us upward like he’d changed into a spring-loaded carnival ride. Had he sneaked a trick into his form ahead of time?

  We soared over the officers’ heads.

  The vampires nded first, elegant and catlike.One vampire caught Rui like she was a precious princess.Ume herself caught me mid-air.

  Despite being smaller than me, she held me effortlessly.

  She purred, eyes gleaming. Her fangs gleamed too.“I owe you a kiss, Susumu~”

  Before I could fully process that—

  She leaned in and kissed me.

  I detonated.The kiss hit me like an explosion.My brain vaporized.

  At that exact moment, Akuchi exploded behind us…POOF …turning into a huge bank of thick fog that swallowed the entire station.

  Ume set me gently onto my feet.“Mmmm… if you ever want to become a vampire someday, I’d be delighted to convert you.”

  Convert??But I just got my humanity back!!

  I realized that my humanity had returned when I had a nosebleed earlier and it wasn’t grossly exaggerated. A short temporary trickle that leaked into my mouth and tapered off.

  I clutched my neck protectively.Ume giggled.

  Then Rui suddenly charged in and wrapped her arms around Ume…

  …AND KISSED HER.

  “K-KYAAAA!” I shrieked, spping both hands over my face.

  “HALT!” a policeman yelled. “Stand down! ENOUGH of these shenanigans! Whatever trick you’re pnning will FAIL this time! You’re SURROUNDED!”

  “Mmmmm~~” Ume purred, breaking the kiss.“That was a fitting reward for my brilliant pn.”She winked. “Everyone! Enact Part Two!”

  Akuchi’s fog thickened, swirling like a supernatural storm.

  When it cleared…

  The station… was completely different.

  The policemen were still there.But every innocent passenger had been repced with goths.

  Dozens.Maybe hundreds.

  Fanged. Dark-haired. Pale-skinned.ALL of them vampires.

  My jaw dropped.The policemen stared, sck-jawed.

  Ume grabbed my hand. Rui grabbed my other. We bolted.

  The station instantly erupted into chaos.Officers shouting.Goths hissing.Some policemen simply fell over.Others started chasing random vampires in circles.

  I swear, I could almost hear sitcom chase music pying.

  “AMAZING!” Rui panted breathlessly beside me.

  The policemen’s attempts to pursue us grew weaker and more confused until many simply gave up.

  We slipped through the chaos and vanished into the night.

  Relwing

  Kinda like, but kinda not! XD