1.43: My Fragile DreamCLICK.

  “Hmmm… if we’re having a sleepover, tea would be good, but more importantly, we need to talk about what comes next,” Rui murmured as we entered my apartment. I sighed with relief while slipping out of my shoes in the genkan… well, not my shoes. Mine were gone somewhere in the chaos. These were borrowed. I heard Rui and Ume removing theirs behind me.

  CLICK.

  I padded farther inside and felt a strange sense of safety settle over me for the first time tonight. “Um… I should clean up! I’d be really embarrassed if… ouch!” Rui rapped the back of my head with her knuckles.

  “Nonsense, silly,” Rui said. “We’re not your dates. We’re here to crash. Even if step one is cleaning up your disaster of a room.” If this wasn’t dating, then what were all those kisses for? My face heated as the memory stabbed through me.

  Ume glided past with a soft ugh. “You’re adorable, Susumu. Rex a little. The makeup was really nice, but crying buckets have absolutely destroyed it. Why not bathe?”

  “No! Not yet. I’ll clean up his face first with hot water,” Rui cut in quickly. “I assume you do have hot water, Susu?” She gave me a sharp, suspicious look.

  “Why?” Ume asked. “A bath would feel wonderful after a day like this. I know I’d want one.”

  “Just don’t, Susumu. Not yet. You’re… not ready,” Rui said quietly as she took my arm and guided me deeper into the apartment.

  “W-why? I’m exhausted… Ume-chan’s right…” I mumbled, letting her pull me along.

  “No, don’t worry about that. More importantly… do you have any spare futons?” Rui asked.

  “Aren’t you worried he’ll attack us?” Ume teased with a fangy grin. “He’s a hot-blooded young man, after all.”

  “I wouldn’t do anything,” I muttered desperately. “First, I’m exhausted. Second, I’m a pathetic virgin. Third, I wouldn’t know what to do!” The st two were basically the same thing, and both women clearly realized it.

  I blushed so hard it hurt. “Oh no—my neighbors…” I practically folded in half. They might’ve heard my pitiful confession. They might be disturbed. I felt like I might shove myself out the window.

  “Y-you win, Rui…” I groaned, stumbling to the closet. I opened the door and reached into the side compartment… not the clothes side. There was a spot where I kept the spare futon for when Reiko-chan might have visited me. “There’s only one, but… I assume you won’t mind sharing.” I yawned long and loud. I pulled it out and set it beside the closet door.

  “I’ll make some tea!” Ume sang brightly. “Why don’t we push your futon against this one. Someone can lie in the middle and be extra snuggly warm. I’m fine with it if the one in the middle is Susumu.” Her steps thumped lightly toward the kitchenette.

  “Nope! You sleep in the middle, Ume!” Rui snapped. “I’ll sleep on one side, Susumu on the other. You’re clearly the one who’d enjoy that most.”

  “I really don’t care,” I lied badly. It was probably for the best. Sleeping between two girls would probably cause my soul to melt and detach from my body.

  “RuiRui, start tidying while I run the hot water,” Ume said. “You help as much as you can, Susumu, but you’re exhausted. Your heart rate finally calmed down from all that earlier excitement.”

  I jolted and nodded quickly. Of course I wouldn’t just let them clean everything for me… this disaster was mine. I scrambled to pick up clothes scattered across the tatami floor. Rui joined me, but her nose wrinkled immediately.

  “It smells a little sour in here. You’ve been sweating like crazy. And you haven’t used cleaning products in a while.”

  “I’m sorry!!!” I bowed repeatedly, mortified. “I’ll fix it, I swear!”

  “Don’t worry,” Ume winked as she dashed out of the kitchen with her arms full of cleaning supplies. “I’ve got the cleaners. You two finish putting things away and I’ll polish everything until it shines. Nighttime gives me a ridiculous surplus of energy right around now. Leave the heavy work to me. You can rely on Ume-chan!”

  “I couldn't do that!” I excimed.

  Ume formed a little heart with her fingers after dropping everything in her arms. Rui and I stared at her while she peered curiously down at the supplies sprawled over the floor. Then, as if deciding none of that mattered, she beamed and continued her earlier expnation. “My kind is nocturnal by nature, so I’m practically bursting with energy right now! You are not.”

  “Oh… okay…” Rui said, nodding like a bobblehead.

  I returned to folding clothes while Ume’s cleaning frenzy stirred a whirlwind of noise behind us. Rui hopped light-footedly around the tatami, straightening things, her short skirt floating with every jump. By the time I stacked the st of the clothes into a neat pile, I finally looked around… and froze.

  My apartment… wasn’t my apartment anymore.

  Ume had restored it to how it looked months ago, back when I still cleaned like a human being. No, probably better. The clutter was gone. The floor shone faintly. Even the air felt fresher, although my poor neglected pnts half-wilted in the corner betrayed the truth.

  “I’m so sorry, everyone!” I bowed deeply enough to crease my spine. “Thank you. Really. But none of this will matter. I won’t be able to stay here. My boss will fire me for sure. I can’t show my face to him again. I don’t even have the nerve to call him. What would be the point?”

  “Why not?” Ume asked, but the tea kettle began to shriek. She darted to the kitchen in a blur.

  “It’s obvious, isn’t it? My face is the problem. It always was.” I sighed, scratching my scalp anxiously. “I was supposed to be there this morning. I promised him I’d fix my low attendance. It took everything I had just to motivate myself yesterday and then Noh-face attacked me. Now that I don’t even have my original face… am I even the same person? Do I even have a legal identity anymore? And the police could knock on my door any time.”

  “Awwww, you’re so beautiful now! Anyone would forgive you with a face like that,” Ume said soothingly from the kitchenette.

  “That’s true,” Rui added, “but the police definitely won’t.” She gave a dry ugh. “Still, Ume-chan, it’s a shame. Now you’ll never get to see how awful he used to look.”

  “That is a shame,” Ume agreed, drifting toward the table with the tea tray. “I wanted to see his original face. I bet it was cute.”

  “Just forget it,” I muttered. “My old face is dead. Gone forever.”

  “There’s a magical thing called pstic surgery,” Ume mused. “It might help a bit… but I guess looking the same won’t solve things for you now.”

  “Don’t you dare,” Rui yelled instantly. “Do NOT pnt any weird ideas in his head!” She facepalmed, then peeked at me between her fingers. “Actually… no. It’s fine. I don’t think he’d ever go through with it anyway.”

  My temple twitched. “Why would you say that, loli-oni? Are you implying I don’t have the guts to get my face cut up? You think I can’t handle pain after everything I went through today?”

  Rui gred harder. I matched it, but hers won. She eventually sighed. “We can’t keep dancing around it. You don’t understand yet, Susumu. You’ll see why after we clean you up properly.” She gestured toward my futon. “Sit.”

  My irritation dissolved into embarrassment. She really was like Reiko-chan sometimes. Rui sipped her tea like a teacher preparing for a lesson. “Pass me a towel, Ume-chan.”

  Ume nodded and grabbed a towel that still held the faint scent of cleanser. “Here. This should help.”

  Rui tilted her teacup and poured a little onto the towel. The liquid soaked in, mingling with the faint chemical smell. She took one more sip, then smiled over the rim toward Ume. “Your tea is splendid.”

  “I’m very happy you like it!” Ume beamed. “And don’t forget… it’s Susumu’s favorite brand. I simply added all my love into it.”

  …It was just cheap green tea.

  But when Rui lifted the towel to my face and dabbed it gently over my cheeks, it felt warm and comforting… the touch of hands that I’d long forgotten. I closed my eyes. Something sweet drifted from the towel. My breathing steadied. My body loosened.

  “Have a few sips, Susumu. Rex.” Rui pced the cup in my hands.

  I lifted it and drank quietly. It was… amazing. Better than any tea I’d made. Better than the cheap tea I bought. Warmth spread through my chest. Tears fell without warning, sliding hot down my cheeks. For the first time ever, this lonely room was filled with warmth—people—voices—kindness. This was what I always wanted.

  “My, my… why are you crying?” Ume asked softly.

  Her arm curled around my shoulders, steady and warm. When I opened my eyes, Rui was watching me with gentle, patient care. She held something in her hand.

  It was the compact.

  “Are you ready to get a much closer look?” she asked.

  I nodded weakly. She pced the compact in my hand and took my teacup so I wouldn’t drop it.

  “These cups are too cute to break,” she said softly.

  I’d bought that tea set for Reiko-chan, ready for if she ever visited. I imagined giving them to her as a wedding gift at least. These cups touching her soft lips. All of those dreams were gone now.

  My hands trembled.

  My tears dripped onto the tatami.

  I finally opened the compact for a much closer inspection of my girly face.

  …………

  …………………

  “R-Reiko-chan…” I breathed.

  My own face—

  —was hers.

  Her face.

  Her soft features. Her eyes. Her everything.

  My knees buckled and the tatami rose up to meet me as I colpsed, tears spilling freely, unable to breathe as the world folded in half around me.

  Relwing